Saturday, 7 September 2013

Day 13 (the end, or well almost the end)

I know why the caged bird sings, ah me,
When his wing is bruised and his bosom sore,
When he beats his bars and would be free;
It is not a carol of joy or glee,
But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core,
But a plea, that upward to Heaven he flings –
I know why the caged bird sings

A Nice Poem I came across. ( hint : title of a very famous autobiography)

So now only 12 days left!!! My nerves are prepping themselves up for a state of madness, the exam frenzy. That severe stress, days rushing by, life being a general blur, not knowing day from night, high on adrenaline and of course caffeine, that is what exam time is all about for me. But this time it will be different. Not in the above mentioned way, but no more getting depressed that I don’t know anything. Actually now I do realize that I have read and I do have knowledge and all I have to do is to brush up everything. Though now I have gone from three days per chapter of GIT to three chapters in one day. But what the heck, I will pull through. God is with me. They can’t beat me down. I almost finished reading Anal canal and it’s still 10 p.m. So I do have time yet for finishing a couple of more topics and a rapid revision thrown in.

Food wise, whoa! Situation under control. 5 small wheat pancakes with honey and cup of milk for breakfast, 5 rotis and potato and shrimp gravy. And for dinner I had two bowls of chicken noodle soup and one table spoon of vanilla ice cream. That’s all I had in whole day with few cups of coffee here and there. At least that part of my life is under control. I wish other things too followed the suit.

Today had sort of a blast from the past. I had a chat with a classmate turned senior turned consultant of mine. I had decided never to talk to him again. Last time he called I was colder than the ice. But this time I thawed a wee bit. Poor chap is not in good frame of things right now. No job security, actually no job at present, personal life gone awry and rest everything also not hunky dory exactly. Now, before you start to think that what a jerk I am gloating at someone else’s misery, let me tell you that it is not true. This guy used to be my friend till he went and stabbed me in my back. Yeah, he is partly responsible for the mess that I am in today, and no one knows this better than him, he knows he is guilty. My point is that, there is a philosophy I strongly believe in; whatever goes around comes around. You do pay for your deeds. May be sooner may be later. But right here. In one way or the other. So will the rest of them all. Now I am not saying that I am a saint. I am not. And maybe I too am paying for my misdeeds, which I might have done knowingly or unknowingly. So it’s like “everybody pays” just like everybody lies from House M.D.

He also told me about a few of my classmates buying their own homes and cars and stuff. Now he wasn’t rubbing that in my nose or something, or maybe he was. Either way I don’t give a furry little rat’s ass. Sorry for the profanity. Hey, it is their life and good for them. Why should I bother? I haven’t talked to them in ages. And they too wouldn’t care if I was alive or dead. Anyways coming to the point, I haven’t given up on myself. One day I will go far ahead, far ahead, where a hero’s welcome would be waiting for me. That’s a bit drama queen, yeah. I know I am honest and intelligent (I used to be, and I will turn tables this time around) but not so hardworking and that I need to change asap. Had enough. Soon it will be time to play by my rules, God willing. I will turn on a new leaf. I just can’t wait for this exam charade to get over. I have so much to do. and so much to write, in a proper sensible way about better things rather than whining about the pitiable state my life is in right now. Goodnight folks………

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